50代の現役クラバーのWomanizerから、こんなメールが届いたんです。
「Womanese」
Mad funny…..
This is a public service announcement
How To Speak Womanese
At last….someone in this world has done some very valid and very valuable research on the human condition!
大笑いしちゃいました！！！
個人的には男性の部分・・・・図星過ぎ！単純過ぎ！！分かりやす過ぎ！！！だから男性は愛らしい存在とも言えるのかもしれません。それに比べて、女性の言葉ってホントに複雑・・。私はというと、「too straight-up」らしいので、女性らしさに欠けるんでしょうね。いつか邦銀のエンジニアの女性から「Sawのブログは、女っぽくないよね。すごく客観的で感情が入ってないみたい」って指摘を受けたことがあります。嗚呼、痛いところを突かれたかも・・。
閑話休題。
続きもありまして。
CAN’T WE JUST BE FRIENDS?
→There is no way in hell I’m going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine, again.
I JUST NEED SOME SPACE.
→… without you in it.
DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?
→We haven’t had a fight in a while.
NO, PIZZA’S FINE.
→… you cheap slob!
I JUST DON’T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW.
→I just don’t want you as a boyfriend now.
I DON’T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
→I can’t believe you have nothing planned.
COME HERE.
→My puppy does this, too.
I LIKE YOU, BUT…
→I don’t like you.
OF COURSE I LOVE YOU.
→… just not in that way.
YOU NEVER LISTEN.
→You never listen.
WE’RE MOVING TOO QUICKLY.
→I’m not going to sleep with you until I find out if this guy at the gym has a girlfriend.
I’LL BE READY IN A MINUTE.
→I’m ready, but I’m going to make you wait because I know you will.
OH, NO, I’LL PAY FOR MYSELF.
→I’m just being nice; there’s no way I’m going dutch.
OH YES!!! RIGHT THERE!!
→Well, near there; I just want to get this over with.
I’M JUST GOING OUT WITH THE GIRLS.
→We’re gonna get sloppy and make fun of you and your friends.
いかがでしたでしょうか？洋邦問わず、女性の言葉を真に受けちゃいけないってことですねぇ～。男性の皆さま、どうぞご参考になさって下さい☆私も勉強して、女性らしさを磨こうっと・・・・。
↓女心と秋の空は、うつろいやすのです。
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